Review of 2012

I did a review of 2011 last year, so I feel like it's a good time to do another one, it being the end of another year and all.

Honestly my 2012 kind of sucked because most of the time I was waiting to move out of this shit town I can't seem to get away from. It's like my personal Twilight Zone. I kept thinking that our house plans would be approved in two weeks' time, so we could finally begin to build. But here I am, nine months later, and I have yet to hear anything from some nebulous bureaucratic organization in Sao Paulo, and I am still stuck here.

My life has sort of been like a version of Sartre's Huis Clos--existing mostly in a closed room with the same people and going through the same cycles over...and over...and over. One thing that I have been aware of through the years is that it's increasingly obvious how much reality reflects thought (or maybe that tendency is just increasing, as all the Ascensionists are wont to claim), and my life is a perfect example of a stuck thought-pattern re-creating itself ad nauseum. I imagine that being a ghost would be like this, one who's stuck at the same moment of trauma for all eternity. (I've even had the scary thought once in a while, wondering if I'm actually dead and a ghost already, but like in The Sixth Sense I just don't know it)

Okay, now that I've got that bitching over with, here's some positive points to 2012:

• I finished my first novel 
• I went through one full year of water-only washing my hair, and it's very healthy and long now (I used to get split ends past a certain length)
• It's the first year my waistline has been consistently even (not one side higher than the other) and my body has felt like it has three dimensions (This is a weird one I know. But I've had a moderate-to-severe scoliosis and it really is a lifetime struggle re-learning what "straight" is. It gets better every year, but this year has seen particular improvement due to consistent breath exercises that have allowed me to free my diaphragm and unwind my ribs and thoracic vertebrae more than ever before)
• We're all still alive (At one point in 2011 I really thought we were all going to die on Dec. 21. That was when I wrote this story. One of the images I use to terrify myself is of a giant tidal wave crashing over me and trying to grab my son and swim up through one kilometer of water and wondering at what instant I would give up and start to die)
• I discovered the ecovillage where hopefully someday soon we'll build a house and I'll actually see real, live people, breaking free of my Sartresque existence
• I met someone who is mentoring me so I don't go insane while I'm still living here