So a friend of mine emailed me and said she thinks that my blog posts are too personal and I should be more content-focused. I suppose I'm in the unique position of being one of the very few people who can talk about her married life fully certain that her spouse is never going to read the posts, so that allows me to talk about some things that in most cases are better kept private. Honestly, I would love it if my husband read my blog, because one of the things that makes me feel less emotionally connected is his disinterest in what I write, or what I think about. I guess it's the complete opposite of being married to someone who snoops through all your emails and stuff, and I prefer the complete disinterest, but a bit of balance would be nice.
It's said that we always marry people who are like our fathers and mothers. I would never have thought my husband was like either of my parents, but oddly enough, my parents also have no interest in what I write or my many opinions on everything under the sun. When I was connected with the Berkeley Psychic Institute, I was on the "pastor track," doing the Christian Education Teacher's Program. So I had a lot of speaking parts in church. I gave two sermons, and I invited my parents to attend one of them. They came and they sat in the back of a room that was more than half empty. Later on, I asked them what they thought.
"Oh, we couldn't hear anything, because we were sitting in the back," they said.
Uh...
Anyway, I digress once more into the personal. So my content-based topic for the day is increasing creativity. I've started doing an Artist's Way group with Savvy Authors, and although I don't actually have the book with me here in Brazil--it's at my parents' house in California--I figure that really, the most important things in it for stimulating creativity are
- the morning pages, which allow you to suspend the judgment and Inner Critic that squelch most efforts to be creative, and
- the artists' dates, which begin to take you out of the space of effort in creating--bringing play and joy back in, the only vibration in which inspiration really flows.
I've done one artist's date--I printed out a mandala coloring page and started coloring it. I got bored halfway through and gave it to my son to finish, but it was a good date while it lasted.
- I've also been playing with listening to theta and alpha wave brain entrainment music, because that helps shut down the beta chatter and resistance that often precedes settling down to create. Here's an example:
- and using aromatherapy, particularly rosemary essential oil for focus and creativity--one drop rubbed into the third-eye spot between the eyebrows.
- There's also a lot of good flower essences for increasing creativity, but what I've been doing instead is gather a bunch of flower essences from my personal stock and stand up holding each one in turn. If your body leans forward, it means "yes." If your body leans back, it means "no." If your body sways side to side, it means "maybe." Test each bottle without looking at the name and see what your body prescribes for you. Your body's response should be faster than thought, because if your mind gets in the way you'll simply sway whatever way you think you will. If your body takes too long to respond, test and test again.
So how's that for content?
It's hard to not get personal on your blog, and I don't know if you really have to change that. I do agree that content that would be of benefit or interest to others is definitely going to make your blog more relevant to others. I guess it's really up to you about what you want out of your blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks--that's good feedback. :) Yeah, I've vacillated plenty about what I want out of my blog, and so it tends to settle into the lowest common denominator of being just a place where I spew when I feel like it. Probably not the most conscious or effective way to create something.
DeleteMaybe not. But it doesrecord events and emotions effectively. My wife does view my blog- as is obvious with my Christmas post- and takes exception to any personal content I put in it, instead of trying to understand what I may be feeling- or even explainig herself or her actions in a fashion that isn't either angry or demeaning.
ReplyDeleteBe grateful for the casual disinterest.
Yeah, you're right...put that way I am grateful. I think what we are both missing is a feeling of support, which if it's there would make the level of interest less important.
DeleteThat's a really interesting story about your parents and BPI. I mean, they weren't even ashamed or embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you getting Flower Essences here in Brazil? Or did you just bring your collection? I love New Hope Farm. I think they are the best.
I think I did see flower essences in a pharmacy here once, so I know they're around. But my stock is all from the US because you know how store stocks are in Brazil--if you see something you want you better grab it because there's a chance are you'll never find it in that or any other store again. (when we were hunting for Xmas supplies, stores either carried only trees, only tree decorations, or neither. It was very frustrating and made comparison shopping really expensive only for the gas outlay.)
DeleteYeah, my parents boggle my mind probably as much as I boggle theirs. I think it was like they traveled to another universe and because it just didn't translate to anything in theirs, they just pretended it didn't really happen. I'm sure they heard and appreciated every word of the idiotic, utterly superficial speech I gave at my high school graduation, though.
I have also been with someone who didn't even pretend to care about anything I cared about or was talented in. He wouldn't read any of my writing that garnered accolades...which sort of made it feel like the things I was most proud of were meaningless to anyone around me (because my parents were the same as yours: underwhelmed). It's sort of like this part of yourself (maybe even the part that makes you feel like "you") is a whole separate life from the person you're with.
ReplyDeleteMy blog has disintegrated into this, too: "being just a place where I spew when I feel like it."
That's just how I feel--that the "me" that I care about the most is a separate life from my family. Something in me must be resisting sharing that part of me with people in my living space, though, otherwise I wouldn't have manifested it this way. Haven't figured that out at all though--it's an utter mindfuck trying to apply "to have what you want you have to want what you have" to this situation.
DeleteYou know, your blog is one of the few that I get excited when you post something new, because it articulates and shares feelings very few people do online.
Mindfuck is right. Resisting sharing that part...yeah, there is something to that. Can't get my head around it, either.
DeleteThanks for saying that...that's how I feel about yours as well. I think it's because I can hear your "voice" in your blog. Few blogs feel authentic/expressive of the person writing them.
Colleen, I like your personal stories/venting. And I can understand why you do it. I was once married to someone who did not inquire into what I thought and did not read what I wrote. It was a profoundly lonely marriage, and I was always desperately seeking connections with other people. If blogs had existed then, I would have done what you are doing. Just keep writing, whatever you do. And I hope you can figure out a way to find more fulfillment. I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for saying so, Anna. I had been wondering today if I needed to take a flower essence for the self-absorbed vampiric personality, the heather-type, who keeps trying to find people to talk to so they can endlessly talk about their problems and suck energy from the listener. But I like this way of thinking of myself better--that the way I blab online is a normal reaction to being in isolation, and with a partner who isn't extremely emotionally supportive.
DeleteI grew up with emotional vampires, and they were called mom and sister. Trust me when I tell you, that is not how you come across. There is a difference between expressing where you're at...and seeking attention and sympathy from any victim you can corner and force to listen to all your woes.
DeleteI now share an office with somebody like this, whose stories have no ending, and my workdays have gone from low-stress to completely zapped after a couple of hours. I have listening fatigue, LOL...but no, you needn't worry about being a vampire!
I don't understand how personal posts aren't content-driven. They're the best content, surely? Or among the best.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, who's the one person in my nuclear family who could probably appreciate what I do, doesn't read my blog, nor has she read any of my writing, I don't believe. It's hurtful, really.
As for morning pages, kudos to you and anyone else who can manage to do them first thing in the morning. I'm lucky I manage to get myself to work. :-)
I totally prefer blogs that share lots of personal details myself! I did edit the one that caused my friend to email me, though, as I guess it was a bit raw. Personal details, yes; bloody wounds, no. :)
DeleteI read another of Julia Cameron's books: The Right to Write. She suggested both of those too.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the reasons why I blog, although I stopped doing them in the morning years ago. :-)
Yeah...as much as the morning seems like it's the best time, I can't manage to do them then!
DeleteThanks for mentioning that book; I haven't read it, but it's going on my to-read list!
I take Alpha Brain for increased creativity. Its a balanced nootropic, basically a blend of nutrients that results in an extraordinary combination of lucid dreams, mental drive, focus, and mental acuity. I've had the craziest dreams from this stuff and really been able to focus and get things handled in my life. Check it out at this link.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.onnit.com/alphabrain/?a_aid=Solstice
Thanks for the link! I've read the Amazon reviews, they're all over the place, but I'm interested in trying them out.
Deleteyour son managed to replicate your original mandala pattern very well... the very few elements that are different still reflect awareness and aesthetic consideration.
ReplyDelete