ROWing in a compromised sanctuary

I wrote yesterday about a crime that took place in my town that's destroyed the illusion of safety that I've had living here, in our country spot on a gentle hill that overlooks a piece of forest. We're going to have to leave--we knew we didn't want to stay here always, but I had thought we'd stay for at least a few more years. Last night, lying in bed, every sound the dogs made outside I wondered if it was the step of an intruder outside, or the sound of someone cutting the fence open out back.

I've tried to think of other solutions--ways to make living here safer, where we wouldn't be sitting ducks to anyone who decides they have a right to take what we have. The easiest is to buy guns--better ones than the ones criminals out here have--and be prepared to use them. I think because we're a society that has been desensitized to violence by watching it constantly on TV or movies, it does become easier to detach enough from the act of killing someone so I could actually pull a trigger and shoot someone in defense of myself and my family. But then...once you enter that cycle, I think your life changes, and somehow what you project out into life and what returns to you begins to follow the extremes of the shadows, and you may attract someone who wants to shoot you too--perhaps as revenge for the life you took or tried to take.

Not only that, but of course there is the danger of kid safety and guns in the house, and I have two small and very curious boys.

Anyhow, before that happens, we're trying to find a piece to install on the telephone line to protect it from being burned by lightning (which we get often here) if the house alarm is active. And before that happens we'll probably just leave.

So an uglier reality has intruded somewhat on my sanctuary. I suppose the muse wants that sort of food sometimes.

Amidst the distractions, the elements of my ROW80 goals that I've continued to meet:

• writing 1000-2000 words a day--more or less...a little less lately, but still progress every day. I'm revising Chapter 6 now of my WIP, the novel draft I wrote in three weeks.
• breath meditation daily: most days yes. I think I'll have to do this the rest of my life. If I don't do it, my regular breath lapses into its old shallow habits, with all the according sympathetic nervous system stress.
• meditation daily: most days yes. Should be longer.
• Reading Portuguese daily: most days yes. This is usually in the form of blogs or Internet research/documents I need to get through just in daily life.
• exercise: good. I had an inspiration that I need to do more Pilates in order to get rid of my belly flab that's never gone away since I had kids. We will see...

The elements I've totally lapsed in:

• fasting once a week: I can't even fast for four hours lately. Total carb creep. Working on working on it at least...but it'll be a while before I can do this again.
• Learning Spanish: ugh
• reading nonfiction daily: nope
• writing flash fiction: other than my short Campaigner entry, nothing since the end of October. I did submit a story today though.

I'm going to continue going where things are working. The other elements are on the back burner for the time being, but I hope to put them back on the plate soon.