Monday, July 25, 2011

Offering

Lately, I've been going through some internal semi-crises. What I mean by that is that I've been a little depressed. It's a combination of too much isolation, too many stories rejected, a weird fuzziness in my head when I try to write new stories, and some other things. I have Neptune on my Ascendant in this location and it doesn't contribute much to clarity.

Anyhow. I've been reading the Hatha Yoga Pradipika again and trying to reinvigorate my connection to divine inspiration, in a half-assed kind of way. Flexibility of body creates flexibility of spirit, if one holds that premise during the asanas. I've been trying to do a little inverting here and there, too--physical change of perspective can create psychological shifts--and my arms are weaker than they used to be, since I've not been doing any inversions for a couple of years. I recall that in my Kundalini Yoga training we were told that headstands are done more by people in isolation--it's not "householder yoga," for which shoulder stand is the preferred inversion. Well, I'm pretty isolated, so headstands should be all right for me.

I noticed that all the stories I've been writing lately have talking animals in them. I realized that part of the reason is that most of the talking I do here is either to animals or to small children whose conversations are mostly nonsensical. So when I write, they've been talking back to me...

The useful piece I read today talks about how if we treat everything we eat as an offering to the Supreme Being, along with everything we do--it creates the intention that the food be nourishing, and that makes a huge difference in its actual ability to nourish. Food becomes something that reinforces awareness rather than escapism.

The same thing goes for everything else we do during the day. As I sit here typing, if I treat every stroke of the keyboard, everything I write as an offering to my higher self and the god of my heart, I become aware of what I'm doing; I straighten my hunched posture, the energy flows better. I have less tendency towards unhealthy habits.

I tried to eat a pastel today with that same attitude. Ideally, we could eat the worst foods and by making it an offering, they don't harm our bodies. But as I ate it, I realized it was giving me a stomachache. Oh well.

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